Voilà ce qui arrive quand un imbécile nomme son logiciel “xfiles” et que kiddo cherche sur google pour le trouver @_@ Ceci est une histoire stupide trouvée sur http://www.oceanwave.com/technical-resources/humor/xfiles.html
(COMPUTING LAB – WEST VIRGINIA)
We see a Pimply Faced Youth working over a terminal. Suddenly he looks up at the screen, scrabbles frantically with the keyboard, then shields his face with his arms, screaming (LATER THAT DAY)
Mulder: So what do you think?
Scully: Well, I’d have to run an autopsy to be sure, but I believe that he may have suffered some form of seizure; judging by the expression frozen on the victims face, it would appear that death was not instantaneous.
Mulder: So you think he saw knew that he was having a seizure?
Scully: Yes, I believe he probably had some form or aura, not unlike that which sufferers of epilepsy encounter before their attacks.
Mulder: Hmm
Scully: You don’t seem convinced?
Mulder: I don’t know. You’d think that if he’d had an aura, as you call it, he would know what to expect, in which case it would seem strange that it hadn’t proved fatal, or at least requiring his hospitalisation before this?
Scully: This could just have been a particularly bad example.
Mulder: I dunno..
Scully: You have some other theory?
Mulder: Well, judging by the evidence – the computing lab, the geeky haircut and way out of date clothes, not to mention B.O. smell, I’d say he was killed by the computer.
Scully: That’s ridiculous Mulder, how can a computer kill someone?
Mulder: No, not the computer Scully, something in it. Look…
Scully: What is it?
Mulder: It’s a plastic bag, probably used to cover a cheaply written CD-Rom
Scully: YOU THINK HE WAS KILLED BY PIRATED SOFTWARE?!?
Mulder: Worse Scully, I think he was killed by the Unix Standard.
Scully: THAT’S RIDICULOUS Mulder! You know there’s no such thing!
Mulder: I’m not so sure. Take a look at the victim some more. Note the absence of razor blades to slit his wrists with nor 200 jar of aspirin to swallow with some Vodka. This is no Microsoft user. And see his PC is way overpopulated with memory. I think it was the Unix Standard.
Scully: That’s crazy Mulder. He might be running some store-bought non-standard on his machine.
Mulder: I’m not convinced Scully, all the evidence points that way.
Scully: ALL THE EVIDENCE? Mulder, just because the Man didn’t appear suicidal doesn’t mean he wasn’t killed by some other product! Have you ever used Exchange to get your email?! Or used America Online?
Mulder: No, I think it was the Unix Standard
Scully: Mulder! It’s just a story, a myth, invented by aged Computer Scientists to justify the fact that they don’t want to go back into the real world to work!
Mulder: I grant you that that might be the case occasionally, but this time I think I’m right.
Scully: Well you must have more than you’re telling me.
Mulder: Well maybe I have..
Scully: What is it?
Mulder: Scully, I never told you this, but after my sister disappeared I was at a loose end. I had trouble sleeping, and my schoolwork went down the tubes.
Scully: Disrupted sleep and study habits are quite common in emotional trauma situations Mulder and I don’t see tha..
Mulder: My parents tried to improve my academic situation by buying me a computer. A Sinclair ZX80.
Scully: And this is where you got your crazy idea?
Mulder: No. Just listen! One night I was up late, writing a Goodbye World program when the room was filled with a bright light. My arms and legs felt heavy, and I was unable to move. When I came to, my computer was gone.
Scully: You’re saying aliens abducted your computer too?
Mulder: Yes. I know it sounds strange, but it happened.
Scully: I’m sure there must be a logical explanation for this, a lightening storm. Maybe you machine fell out your bedroom window.
Mulder: Then how come it was back in my room the next morning?
Scully: You must have dreamed it then. The dream was simply so vivid that you mixed it up with reali..
Mulder: Just LISTEN! I thought that too. But then I switched my machine on…
Scully: What happened?
Mulder: It booted linux.
Scully: That’s crazy, linux wasn’t even around then!
Mulder: Well, not officially anyway.
Scully: You’re saying that your machine having a pre-linux version of linux on it is somehow related to this case?
Mulder: I think so
Scully: But linux isn’t the Unix Standard!
Mulder: Try telling a linux user that.
Scully: So what are you saying?
Mulder: I’m saying that maybe this whole linux development, you know, with contributions etc from the public domain, is just a way of making linux the definitive Unix Standard.
Scully: Then how do you explain it appearing on your machine?
Mulder: That’s just it! It can’t possibly have appeared on my machine all those years ago. Unless…
Scully: Unless what Mulder?
Mulder: Unless linux was written by the aliens, and all this Public Domain stuff is just a cover up… (A ROOM IN THE UN BUILDING)
FatMan: It would appear that Agent Mulder has found out about the software
CancerMan: Mulder knows nothing. He’s got no proof.
FatMan: We can’t have him getting any closer to the truth.
CancerMan: He can’t and he won’t. I’ve taken steps to ensure this.
FatMan: What steps?
CancerMan: I’ve had OSF-1 installed on the victim’s machine. And six bottles of aspirin left laying around. It’s unlikely that the investigation team will survive.
FatMan: What about Mulder?
CancerMan: He’ll shortly have other red herrings to fry.. (FBI HEADQUARTERS)
Skinner: Whilst I appreciate the work you have put into this, I’m recommending that the case be closed as a non-X file.
Mulder: You can’t! The people have a right to know that aliens are abducting their machines and installing linux on them to track their machines!
Skinner: The case no longer has top priority.
Mulder: Well what HAS?
Skinner: We heard that Microsoft was releasing software that wasn’t based on someone else’s ideas. We’re worried that the core temperature of Hell might be dropping.
Mulder: I’ll get right onto it.
Scully: Bearing in mind that some things just can’t be explained…
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Comments
One response to “X-Files et linux”
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD ptin tellement con que jme suis marré du début à la fin XD